My mind is heavy…
Regret is a block in my heart,
Forcing the chambers shut.
And the page is the last light I see,
Before I blank out
My mind is heavy…
Regret is a block in my heart,
Forcing the chambers shut.
And the page is the last light I see,
Before I blank out
I hid my energy here
It is buried in the lines…can you see it?
Push past pen, past paragraph
My spirit is rooted here…can you feel it?
I drew my ink from the ducts of lovers who lost lovers– there is no sorrow like this.
I am naked beneath these words and yet I am clothed without it.
Have you ever been to a funeral and the weight of the dead lays hovering just above you?
Tension, a steel rod?
Cold settles on your skin and attracts hairs like magnet
Your gut, pools at your feet
When fear radiates off your surface, the black of the garb is not enough to keep you from being haunted
You will regret never fully learning to trick ghosts out of their existence.
My heart is hidden here,
Have you seen it?
I wrapped it in widow’s weeds, I did not bury it within verse
I hid it at the surface where you would not search
It is my iyi-uwa
My reason for coming back
Your source of confused longing
Every time you comb my words,
You will feel me
Always.
I dug up these devices and lay myself down here
Not so I could make a burial ground out of you
But because it I’d hidden anywhere else,
I would not have survived
Muhammad…
God must have dipped your heart in ink even before he made the valves,
Strung honey combs from your vocal chords
So by the time your brain intercepts your heart the words flow twice as sweet
When he formed your soul he thought of all the heights and depths you’d reach,
So he ignored protocol and made yours twice as deep
Muhammad…
God does not make mistakes.