Rebel Darling

Happy Old Year’s Day!!!  (New Year’s Eve for the foreign folks)

As I approached my 22nd birthday I began drafting a list of 22 things I learned over the past year.  Besides the fact that this list reminded me of how old I’m getting (as it took me so long to get to the end) it also served as a form of self-evaluation. So cheers to growth! And here’s to self-improvement in 2015!

1. I can be EVERYTHING I want to be – We’ve all been asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And more than likely you’re expected to pick one thing. Whether it be a doctor or lawyer or fireman—whatever it is—we’re conditioned to believe we can only pursue one passion at a time or one passion only. Well, I say bullshit. Not only do you have choices, but you shouldn’t force yourself into a box just so people will have an easier time defining you. Don’t limit yourself. You can be everything you want to be.
2. Don’t share your dreams with everyone – I don’t remember where I saw this quote…but basically, not everyone can handle your dreams. Not everyone can even handle that you have dreams and are pursuing them. There are people out there that will try to talk you into believing that your dreams are an illusion and you can’t achieve all you set out to do. They will try to feed you all sorts of hogwash. Don’t swallow it.
3. When you’re at a corner don’t look for traffic and positioning, look for feedback as well – In this scenario ‘feedback’ basically refers to resetting the steering wheel; the movement or actions taken to get you where you want to end up. So in my practical application to life I can say, that for whatever goals I want to attain I need to be on the lookout for positioning (where it is that I want to go), traffic (anything that might hinder me getting to that position), and feedback (the actions that I need to take to get me where I need to be). (Lessons from my driving instructor)
4. People will not always come through for you – Don’t depend on other people to see your own goals through; everyone is pursuing their own dream.
5. Your purpose will stalk you until you turn around and do the pursuing – If you have something on your mind constantly…for weeks…months…and then years…stop ignoring it. Stop putting it off. It’s not a passing phase. “If God called you, he won’t change his mind.”
6. Having a talent is a gift and refusal to use that talent is ingratitude – But not just using it–using it for purpose.
7. You get credit for the things you do, not what you say you’ll do – Stop talking about what you want to get done and just get it done. Starting is the hardest part but the fruits of your labour will be worth it.
8. “Instinct will always find opportunity”– Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place. The universe reveres truth.
9. People can only buy what you sell to them, therefore people will see me however I market myself – If you want to be known as an artist—share your art. If you want to be seen as an activist—speak out. If you want people to think you’re a douche, constantly bash minority groups online.
10. If it doesn’t fit into your plan, if it won’t contribute to your growth in the grand scheme of things, don’t do it.—This may sound selfish but hear me out—I’m not saying that you shouldn’t spend your time helping people, especially your friends. Horizontal loyalty is important, but so is loyalty to yourself. If you find that most of your time is taken up doing things for other people that don’t contribute to your personal growth or take you closer to the goals you’ve set for yourself, it’s time to take a step back.
11. Find your niche – According to a follower on my timeline: find your thing, and do you. You’ll be a lot happier.
12. Learn to say no to the right people – I’ve been asked more times than I’d care to admit if I know any other words besides the word ‘no’. Some people might call me out if they heard me say I have a hard time saying no to people. The thing is, I can easily say no to my friends. When the time comes for me to say no to other people however, my resistance wanes. But this year, after accepting numerous tasks that I knew I’d be under pressure to complete, or somehow felt obligated to do even though I didn’t care for it, I finally said no. If you won’t be able to give your best at something, don’t say yes out of obligation. You’ll be doing both yourself and the other person an injustice.
13. If you have a big plan, break it down- My friends and I are always coming up with these elaborate schemes. They’re good plans, but visions should be realistic and attainable. I’ve learned that while it’s okay to have big dreams, it’s also okay to start small and build from there.
14. Successful people are always taking note of their accomplishments, no matter how small – I’ve learned this from watching some of my favourite people work. This is a key attribute of people who get things done.
15. Experience is the strongest mental block there is – Look kid, sometimes bad things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it >_>…but when they do, they can cause you to build up defenses that you don’t even realize are there. They’re tough; and to people on the outside, they appear impenetrable. Heartbreak sucks, but ignoring pain doesn’t make it go away–it just prevents you from finding healthy solutions and pursuing healthy relationships.
16. Don’t let your personal feelings spill over into your work relationships – Just…don’t.
17. Not every good man is meant to be your husband – Nor is every good woman meant to be your wife. (Lessons from Whatsapp chats)
18. Physics 101- Energy is neither created nor destroyed it just changes form – This law does not exclude emotions. Unfortunately. The thing is, an emotion that should be positive (like love), when suppressed may just come out as anger and then people will just think you’re a bitch. So try to avoid going through the denial phase. Embrace what you feel, don’t keep things pent up.
19. Don’t think too much – I think about things. A LOT. Like really, a lot. I’m really careful in everything I do and I didn’t notice until twice this year on two separate occasions, strangers pointed out to me that when they ask me questions I never answer right away but carefully sift through my thoughts before replying. While they seemed to be impressed by this, I was taken aback. I don’t know why I’m so guarded. It might be the mystery of it all—the fact that we’re each like a vessel made up of all these memories and experiences that only we have complete access to and we have the power to let people see only what we want and no more. It’s like I carefully select who I think is “worthy enough” for me to share my secrets with. That and I like to be honest. So maybe I need to stop deciding who I think can handle my honesty and let them decide for themselves.
20. Face your fears – All the things we fear are in our heads. I’ve been speaking in front of people for yearsss, yet I have an intense fear of crowds and public speaking. What I have learnt though is– when people say that the only way to overcome your fears is to face them, they mean it literally. If I stand in front of a crowd and don’t make eye contact, I’m more likely to be more nervous than if I do. Looking at the audience makes you realize that they’re not as intimidating as you made them out to be in your head.
21. Don’t post your best poems online – Well…not that you should NEVER—I mean, you will want people to see your best work. But if you’re interested in having your poetry published in journals or entered into competitions it’s best to save those pieces until after they’re published to share them. Otherwise…you may regret it later.
22. Your art should shock people into thinking about their reality – Artists are here to start a revolution. What then would be the point of art if not to produce impact? Some of the most impacting experiences I’ve had this year were from artists who challenged the status quo and stepped outside the box with their methods. Making people think is the first step to creating change.